Primary and secondary identity

Sometimes I have the privilege of participating in informal conversations with younger Christians, capacitated for ministry work and with a genuine desire to make a difference in and for the Kingdom of God.

Sometimes being involved in ministry work gives privileges and positions, and for some it may even cause one to exaggerate one’s own importance.

I recently had one, among many, conversation with an individual whose insights I value deeply. During this conversation he referred to the importance of treating well the people around you when you are ascending to higher positions, because some of those very people you may meet again on your way down!

I have come to realize that popularity and visibility in the Kingdom of God is temporary, and it does not help in the long run to have one’s primary identity in current, future or past ministry work and/or experience.

I am quite often reminded of a visit to Copenhagen, some 30 years ago, when I visited Erik Larsson, an elderly gentleman who had previously been a popular charismatic conference speaker all over Scandinavia. We were taking a walk in his neighborhood when he met one of his neighbors and spontaneously struck up an informal conversation with her. It was obvious to me that they knew each other casually and that this was not their first conversation.

Erik Larsson had recognized that there are different seasons in life. Instead of clinging psychologically to his past he had embraced his new season. His primary identity was not anchored in having a visible ministry.

When I was younger, I sometimes said to others, and maybe also to myself, that I did not anchor my identity in my capabilities but in whom I was. I have since come to realize that there is nothing wrong; in fact, I believe it is psychologically healthy to be aware of and have a certain identity in what we are «good at», to put it that way. In that sense, there is nothing wrong having our identity in our past, current or future calling in life.

Nonetheless, I do believe that it is important to have something to fall back on when a possibly visible phase is over and one enters invisibility and very few people will be around.

Intuitively, I believe, many of us distinguish between primary and secondary identities. But it could also be helpful to take a conscious look at what we want to place in the secondary and what we would like to put in the primary category.